In Esquire magazine’s regular “What I’ve Learned” section, heiress, celebutante and overall media princess Paris Hilton hands out a few nuggets of wisdom. It’s not surprising that someone as saturated in the limelight can have some pretty out-there ideas about herself. Nonetheless, anything that comes out of Paris’s pink, puckered mouth is very amusing to us regular folk, at the very least.

Here are just a few excerpts from the section:

“There are definitely a lot of misconceptions about me out there. ‘Oh, she doesn’t work. She doesn’t do anything. She just gets money from her family.’ That’s not true at all. I was up making phone calls at seven in the morning, and I’ll be working until 1:00 A.M.”

“I was the oldest granddaughter. Everyone was so excited that I was born; they would always take pictures of me. My grandma would call me Marilyn Monroe or Grace Kelly. Ever since I was little, it’s what I knew I wanted to do–be a blond icon.”

“Once I’ve worn a dress, I can never wear it again. I give them to charities and they auction them off to help people with breast cancer, multiple sclerosis, and AIDS. Some that are really, really special, I keep in storage for my daughters. They’ll be vintage by then. I think my daughters will love them.”

“The best thing I’ve ever bought with money is my house. I call it my Paris Palace. It’s beautiful. Every room has beautiful crystal chandeliers and amazing moldings from Italy. When people come over they say, ‘Hey, this looks just like you.’”

“Because of my last name and the way I look, some people think I’m a spoiled brat. But I’m not like that at all. I’m one of the most down-to-earth people I know out of anyone in Hollywood.”

“Things may seem to naturally come my way. But I work hard for them, too. I have good karma.”

“You may not be able to be hot when you’re seventy-five in a conventional sense. Like, young people won’t think you’re hot. But your husband will, and so will people your own age.”

For more celebrity news and gossip, visit Celebrity Gossip Hollywood.

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